


Skin and Bones

by Semi_problematic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: I Don't Even Know, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-07 21:17:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11632086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: You are more than just skin and bones.





	Skin and Bones

**Author's Note:**

> Someone asked me to write about Philip with an eating disorder months ago, but I was still battling with mine, but I started writing today and this happened.

Philip never ate much. Growing up he never had a choice. He wasn't starving but he wasn't full. As he got older things changed. People changed. He was called fat and ugly every day by seemingly everyone he saw. At first it didn't get under his skin, but then.. it did. Then Philip began to worry. His skin crawled and he got anxious every time people looked at him. Was he really fat? After all these people could see him every day and he only saw himself in mirrors. He chose what he saw so what these people saw had to be true, right? Right.

So Philip began to stop eating as much, as if what he was eating was enough. He skipped breakfast first, ignoring the ache in his stomach as the day continued on. Then lunch, no one paid attention anyway, and he ignored the dizziness he felt as he walked home and sat on his bed. Dinner was a treat that he only allowed himself when he didn't feel fat, hideous even, and those days were so rare it was non existent. 

Now, Philip knew he couldn't simply not eat, as good as that sounds, it's impossible, so he would eat snacks. Just a few around the day to make sure he didn't pass out during the day. Water became his best friend along with the dizzy pounding in his head and the ache in his belly. 

Getting moved to a new town didn't help either. He was the freak all over again and people didn't even know him. They must've seen him. He got bulkier clothes when he was in the city so he decided to wear those to school so the kids couldn't see how disgusting he was. It was harder to not eat around Helen and Gabe, they would watch him and check on him, so eating dinner had to become a regular thing. They weren't around for lunch and he could throw his food from breakfast away on the way to school.

Then he met Lukas. Lukas wasn't like everyone else. Sure, he kept their friendship a secret but he liked to hang out with Philip and every time they were together Philip was so happily distracted he didn't think about his weight. Feelings for Lukas developed quickly but it wasn't like all the other boys. He didn't have the confidence he had had around them, probably because he could tell when boys liked him, but Lukas was harder to read. 

Eventually they ended up kissing and normally that would be seen as something good, something painless. But it didn't. Their kiss felt like a curse the night gunshots became a too familiar sound. After that night eating became the last of his worries and the pain he knew too well was replaced with worry. People got meaner and it felt like he was drowning. He couldn't tell and once again there was someone out to get him. Bullies got worse, mostly because Lukas made a big deal of it to shove Philip away, as if it was a show. He wasn't allowed to tell and it was just another weight on his back. He was definitely was drowning and there was no way to get out of it.

Ironically, when Lukas was shot and fell into the water, drowning was the last thought on Philips mind. Everything was. When he pulled Lukas' body out of the water the only thought going through his mind was 'please be alive, please don't leave me' because honestly, Philip doesn't have anything left to live for. The killer wants him dead, he barely has friends at school, his mother is getting help but it'll take ages to get back to her and the house he's staying in doesn't feel like home, the only thing that resembles home in Tivoli is how he feels in Lukas' arms.

Lukas woke up, but nothing got better. Philip told, it still didn't get better. Ryan was chasing after them and it was only a matter of time. 

Locked in a hotel room was where the most anxiety came out. They were kissing, kissing lead to touching, touching lead to stripping. Philip was ready for the rejection. He was ready to fall from cloud 9 and remember how ugly he really was, but Lukas did the same thing he did in the night in the cabin. He kissed every inch of Philips body. He worshiped Philip. And lastly, he made Philip promise to treat himself as if he was more than skin and bones.


End file.
